Love Languages
Love, what does it mean to love someone? When I think about the word love, I often think of the actions
that someone has done for me as an expression of their love. This week, my
husband offered to clean out the refrigerator for me, and that really made me
feel loved and appreciated. I felt that it was his way of expressing love to me
through service. How do you show love? How can you better love your spouse?
Everyone feels love in a different way. Some people
enjoy a hug and some people enjoy time together watching a movie. In the book
called, “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman, he talks about how we often
show love in the same way that we feel love. For example, if a hug or a pat on
back makes me feel loved, I would perform those same gestures to show someone
that I love them. Not all individuals show
love in the same way and there are many ways love can be shown. Think about it, do you show
love the same way that you hope to be loved?
HOW do you express your love?
“Love doesn't erase the past, but it makes the
future different.”
FIVE DIFFERENT LOVE LANGUAGES
Love is often shown in many
different ways. Gary Chapman, a well know author and expert in relationships
has written many books on the topic of love, and how we express love in our
relationships. He offers five different and equally important ways of
expressing love.
2.
Quality Time: Are you that person who
loves to watch a movie together or get dinner together as a couple? Quality
time is time spent with the person that you love. The activity does not matter
as much as the presence of the person that you love. This person feels love by
having their companion present with them. Someone who feels love this way might
ask for your undivided attention while you go to dinner. They also might only
enjoy one on one time with you.
3. Receiving Gifts: How often do you give a
gift to someone you love? Are you always finding a way to make extra treats to
give away or finding that nice looking tie you know your husband would love? A
gift can be something big like an apple watch and something small like a note
on the bathroom mirror for your spouse. Someone who feels love this way looks
for ways and opportunities to give gifts to those around them.
4. Acts of Service: Are you always trying to
find a way to make the burden of your spouse a little lighter? Do you quietly
do acts of service? Acts of service are similar to giving gifts except you are
doing something like making a meal, cleaning up a room, or running an errand
for your sweetheart. These little things contribute to feeling loved. To be
clear, this love language is something you do for someone not because you were
asked, but because you see the need for something to be done.
5. Physical Touch: Do you love it when someone
comes and pats you on the back? Are you a fan of hugs? Physical touch is
interacting while showing love through some sort of body contact. Some of these
gestures include, holding hands, rubbing your back, putting your hand on their
leg, giving a hug, laying your head down on their shoulder, and many other
gestures of physical contact. Someone who shows love through physical touch
often finds ways that they can show their love through these gestures as well.
Gratitude and Love
Having gratitude in our hearts allows us to show love more
completely for the person that we love. It has been shown that gratitude is a
vital part in any healthy relationship. If we are not careful, we can fall into
the trap of going from loving everything about our spouse and finding gratitude
in our hearts to taking our spouse for granted (Heitler, 2012).
- Gratitude is a spiritual way of
being. To be grateful for something is to value it and
treasure it like it is something very special to you (Heitler, 2012). It
is to appreciate and find great worth in our relationships.
- Gratitude helps us
to focus on the good in our spouse instead of focusing
on the things that we do not like.
- It was found through a research study that if each spouse
would reciprocate the gratitude towards each
other, that they would find much happiness (Heitler, 2012).
- It
has also been shown that those
couples who show gratitude and appreciation for each other often value and
listen to one another’s opinions and ideas. They really focus
on hearing their spouse and showing love by being there for them (Heitler,
2012).
TAKE AWAY
1.
Think about how you can
show love to your spouse this week in the way that THEY feel loved. Try and do one thing
that will express your love to them through action.
2.
Ponder this week about
yourself and how you show and feel loved. What could you do to love
those around you and pick up on others love languages better?
3.
Find a way to express gratitude towards your spouse. Ask yourself, “How can I be more grateful for
my spouse and all they do for me?”
4.
Remember, how someone
expresses love to you is often the same way that they feel loved themselves.
Please let us know how we are doing by filling out this survey!
References
Heitler, Susan.
"Does Gratitude Matter in Marriage?" Psychology Today. July 14, 2012.
Accessed March 02, 2018.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201207/does-gratitude-matter-in-marriage.
Klewicki, L. (2014).
What is your love language? Catholic Digest, 21.
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