Communication In Parenting

Communication in Parenting

When children are thrown into the mix of a marriage, why is it so difficult for couples to communicate about parenting? Children have a tendency to bring their parents’ weaknesses to light, which can make it difficult for parents to communicate with each other.

Just think about it; when you feel like your weaknesses are being shown or displayed, how do you feel? Do you feel frustrated and confused? Do you feel annoyed and like you want to escape?

Welcoming A New Baby:

·         It has been shown through research that becoming parents and bringing a new baby into the mix can become a really difficult adjustment for a marriage (Marriage and Parenting, 2008)

·    Studies have shown that Marital Satisfaction can plummet by 45% for men and 58% for women during the first year of having a baby because of the stress and adjustment that is taking place (Marriage and Parenting, 2008).

·         It has been shown that couples who have a steady marriage before they welcome a baby into the world will most likely have an easier time bouncing back after the adjustment period of a new baby (Marriage and Parenting, 2008).

·         Studies have shown that it is very valuable for a couple to attend counseling during the first few months of a baby’s life. This helps the couple work through postpartum depression and role issues they may have.

·         It is suggested to find ways to communicate your needs and expectations to your spouse. It is helpful to find couples who are in similar situations that will be able to relate to your situation and how you are feeling (Marriage and parenting,
2008).

·         Lastly, it is important to help the father stay involved in the baby raising experience.  That will help with the couple’s communication and transition in parenthood.

“Calm Voices, Calmer Kids”

Sometimes it’s hard to keep your cool, but less yelling means better communication

-Beth Arky

Key Skills for Parenting as a Team:

-Identify Problem Interactions: Identify the situations as parents that create tension in your household and in your relationship. If contention arises because of constant morning time-crunches, communicate to find a way to ease the rush so that contention does not arise (Arky, 2018).

-Create Consistency: Create an environment that is consistent. This allows the children and the marriage to be on the same page. If there are routines in the family, it will create a steady environment (Arky, 2018).

-Consider Triggers: Consider the triggers of everyone in the family. For example, if a child is usually upset when he or she missed a snack, remember that it will create a grumpy child. Everyone in a family has triggers, even parents (Arky, 2018).

-Understanding=Patience: It is helpful for parents to be understanding of each other and their limits as well as their children and their limits. When understanding takes place in a family environment and communication is constant, there will be more patience for each other (Arky, 2018).

-Learn to Let Go and Laugh it Off: Letting go of being totally in control when you are parents really helps. It is important to just laugh at the mistakes that happen instead of getting tense about mistakes children make (Arky, 2018).

-Disengage: Sometimes it is important to disengage from the situation as parents. It is important for parents to know when to walk away and gain their composure before responding to children or even to each other. This can help keep the conversations calm and pleasant (Arky, 2018).

TAKE AWAY

• Remember that welcoming a new baby into the world is a transition period through which your marriage will need extra attention.
• Find ways to communicate and talk about roles as new parents and what might be causing contention in your marriage.
• Remember, as parents, it is important to find ways to laugh and to disengage when the situation is appropriate.
• Next time you are having a frustrating moment, try and understand what is happening in the situation with your spouse before making judgments.
• Lastly, Create consistency in your family life. Find a way to make a routine more consistent. This will help relieve contention and promote a peaceful home.

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Resources:

Arky, B. (n.d.). Calm Voices, Calmer Kids. Retrieved March 24, 2018, from https://childmind.org/article/calm-voices-calmer-kids/

Marriage & parenting. (2008). National Women's Health Report, 30(2), 6.